女权主义者的性欲观(读书笔记:杰茜卡瓦伦蒂:《正面全裸的女权主义》)笔者直接认为,女权主义者都以些身穿男子西装剪着郎君发型叼着香烟不刮腋毛的中性人,直到读了瓦伦蒂那本《正面全裸的女权主义》。今后才明白过来,原本女权主义者也可能有七情六欲的!不仅仅如此,她们的欲念比平时女子更加直白,更加强势,更自私。瓦伦蒂用了整整多少个章节来论述女权主义的性欲观。标题是《女权主义者更专长干那件事(以至其余关于性的提示)FEMINISTS
DO IT BETTEENCORE (AND OTHEENVISION SEX
TIPS)》。她直抒己见就笔者炫彩“作者在床上比你行,而这得归功于女权主义。”(I’m
better in bed than you are. And I have feminism to thank for
it.)今世男权社会对女孩子有风流倜傥种前后恶感的双重标准:一方面,女生在青天白日收受“守贞教育”,早上则在TV上来看“女孩也疯狂”的广告。一方面,女孩被感化说婚前性行为是非正常的,另一面又告诉你,你若想成为一名春假辣妹,你赶紧对着镜头宽衣解带吧!(When
you’re getting abstinence-only education during the day and Girls Gone
Wild commercials at night, it’s not exactly easy to develop a healthy
sexuality. You’re taught that sex before marriage is bad bad bad, but
that if you want to be a springbreak hottie, you’d better start making
out for the
camera.)守贞思想家是这么来教育女生的:“你们的人身正是风姿洒脱根棒棒糖。当你们与娃他爹发生性关系时,他剥去你的门面,含吮起来。当时只怕认为不错,可缺憾的是,他与您完事后,你们留给下一人伴侣的就是衣冠不整,口水臭味的流毒。”(“Your
body is a wrapped lollipop. When you have sex with a man, he unwraps
your lollipop and sucks on it. It may feel great at the time, but
unfortunately, when he’s done with you, all you have left for your next
partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker.
“)够耸人听他们说的。不过女权主义者不吃那生龙活虎套。瓦伦蒂提议的口号是:“作者的处女膜作者做主!(Our
Hymens, Ourselves
)”她说:“小编从未闹明白处女贞操有哪些大不断,真的。笔者的贞操在中学时期就被一名男盆友没怎么费事就夺去了。大家后来还约会了某个年啊。作者还以为会有何特殊的痛感吗,未有。我总以为这种把处女贞操当成绝代佳人一遍事很笨拙。所以你能够想像,当自个儿发掘本身原本是被用过即弃的杂质时有多愕然。”(I
have never really understood what the big deal was about virginity.
Really. Mine was lost without a great deal of fanfare to a high school
boyfriend whom I dated for several years afterward. I expected to feel
different—I didn’t. The whole precious-flower-virginity thing always
seemed silly to me. So imagine my surprise when I found out that I was
just a used-up piece of trash without
it.)笔者相比纳闷的是,女权主义者总体上是瞧不起男士的。但是在拍卖本人的情欲时,她们对娃他妈的姿态分明又是另后生可畏番景色。诚然,她们与哥们上床,再亦非为了讨好娃他爸,更不是为了薪火相传,而纯粹是为着谐和的雅观。用瓦伦蒂露骨的话,正是:黄金年代边做女权主义者,风华正茂边打炮!(f***ing
while feminist
!)只是,面对一个人性欲如此高涨态度如此强势的女权主义床伴,哪一个人小男生消受得起?

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笔者间接认为,女权主义者都是些身穿男子西装剪着相恋的人发型叼着烟卷不刮腋毛的中性人,直到读了瓦伦蒂那本《正面全裸的女权主义》。

(部分翻译仅凭个人认为,不完全根据最先的作品翻译)

前段时间才清楚过来,原本女权主义者也有七情六欲的!不仅仅如此,她们的欲望比平日女人更直接,越来越强势,更自私。

As I look back on my experiences, it’s interesting to reflect on how my
perspectives have changed.

瓦伦蒂用了任何二个章节来阐释女权主义的性欲观。标题是《女权主义者更擅长干那件事(以致其它关于性的晋升)FEMINISTS
DO IT BETTEOdyssey (AND OTHE奇骏 SEX TIPS)》。

When I started out, each and every twist and turn I encountered,
whether in the markets or in my life in general, looked really big and
dramatic up close, like unique life-or-death experiences that were
coming at me fast.

他直言不讳就小编光彩夺目“作者在床面上比你行,而那得归功于女权主义。”(I’m better
in bed than you are. And I have feminism to thank for it.)

(刚早先的时候,感到市集和生存中的碰着的曲折与难点,极其伟大,像特其他危殆的经历)

今世男权社会对女子有生机勃勃种首尾乖互的双重规范:一方面,女人在青天白日收受“守贞教育”,清晨则在电视上看到“女孩也疯狂”的广告。一方面,女孩被感化说婚前性行为是非符合规律的,其他方面又报告你,你若想成为一名春假辣妹,你赶紧对着镜头宽衣解带吧!(When
you’re getting abstinence-only education during the day and Girls Gone
Wild commercials at night, it’s not exactly easy to develop a healthy
sexuality. You’re taught that sex before marriage is bad bad bad, but
that if you want to be a springbreak hottie, you’d better start making
out for the camera.)

With time and experience, I came to see each encounter as “another one
of those” that I could approach more calmly and analytically, like a
biologist might approach an encounter with a threatening creature in the
jungle: first identifying its species and then, drawing on his prior
knowledge about its expected behaviors, reacting appropriately.

守贞文学家是那样来教育女人的:“你们的肉身正是生机勃勃根棒棒糖。当你们与老头子产生性关系时,他剥去你的糖衣,含吮起来。这时候也许认为到不错,可可惜的是,他与您完事后,你们留给下一个人伴侣的正是衣冠不整,口水臭味的残渣。”(“Your
body is a wrapped lollipop. When you have sex with a man, he unwraps
your lollipop and sucks on it. It may feel great at the time, but
unfortunately, when he’s done with you, all you have left for your next
partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker. “)

(随着年龄和经验的抓牢,遭遇新主题素材愈加冷静管理)

够耸人听大人说的。然而女权主义者不吃那风度翩翩套。瓦伦蒂提议的口号是:“笔者的处女膜作者做主!(Our
Hymens, Ourselves )

就像biologist, 首先识别难点,寻觅先验知识,然后使用适当的行路。**

”她说:“笔者从没闹了然处女贞操有何大不断,真的。小编的贞操在中学时期就被一名男友没怎么费事就夺去了。我们后来还约会了一些年吧。小编还感到会有如何极度的认为啊,没有。笔者总感觉这种把处女贞操当成绝世佳人一次事很古板。所以您能够想象,当本人开掘自身原本是被用过即弃的废料(或棒棒糖)时有多愕然。”(I
have never really understood what the big deal was about virginity.
Really. Mine was lost without a great deal of fanfare to a high school
boyfriend whom I dated for several years afterward. I expected to feel
different—I didn’t. The whole precious-flower-virginity thing always
seemed silly to me. So imagine my surprise when I found out that I was
just a used-up piece of trash (or candy) without it.)

When I was faced with types of situations I had encountered before, I
drew on the principles I had learned for dealing with them. 

自个儿比较纳闷的是,女权主义者总体上是鄙夷男生的。然则在拍卖自个儿的人事时,她们对老头子的姿态明显又是另生机勃勃番光景。诚然,她们与先生上床,再亦非为了讨好娃他爹,更不是为着传宗接代,而纯粹是为了本人的愉悦。用瓦伦蒂露骨的话,就是:大器晚成边做女权主义者,大器晚成边交合!(Fucking
while feminist !)

(在此之前碰到的难点,使用已经学到的条件)

只是,面前遇到一个人性欲如此高涨态度如此强势的女权主义床伴,哪壹人小男生消受得起?

But when I ran into ones I hadn’t seen before, I would be painfully
surprised. Studying all those painful first-time encounters, I learned
that even if they hadn’t happened to me, most of them had happened to
other people in other times and places, which gave me a healthy respect
for history, a hunger to have a universal understanding of how reality
works, and the desire to build timeless and universal principles for
dealing with it.

(对于早先没遇上的新主题材料,不会以为难熬。因为开采,就算那一个难题,以前自身没遇见过,其余人也会遭受过。所以小编极其重视历史,渴望了然实际到底是怎么运作的,并期盼建构固定和普及的标准化来拍卖它。)(简单的讲:认知现实的原形,并确立
遍布的口径去管理它, 广泛恐怕能够知晓为 合适的 准确的 )

乐百家平台 ,Watching the same things happen again and again, I began to see
reality as a gorgeous perpetual motion machine, in which causes become
effects that become causes of new effects, and so on.

(望着同等的事体二遍又三次地发出,小编开头把具体看成是一个富华的永动机,此中的始末成为了震慑成为新功能的要素,等等。大约是
a产生b,b又生出了c)

I realized that reality was, if not perfect, at least what we are given
to deal with, so that any problems or frustrations I had with it were
more productively directed to dealing with them effectively than
complaining about them. I came to understand that my encounters were
tests of my character and creativity. Over time, I came to appreciate
what a tiny and short-lived part of that remarkable system I am, and how
it’s both good for me and good for the system for me to know how to
interact with it well.

In gaining this perspective, I began to experience painful moments in a
radically different way. Instead of feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, I
saw pain as nature’s reminder that there is something important for me
to learn. Encountering pains and figuring out the lessons they were
trying to give me became sort of a game to me.

The more I played it, the better I got at it, the less painful those
situations became, and the more rewarding the process of reflecting,
developing principles, and then getting rewards for using those
principles became.I learned to love my struggles, which I suppose is a
healthy perspective to have, like learning to love exercising (which I
haven’t managed to do yet).

In my early years, I looked up to extraordinarily successful people,
thinking that they were successful because they were extraordinary.
After I got to know such people personally, I realized that all of
them—like me, like everyone—make mistakes, struggle with their
weaknesses, and don’t feel that they are particularly special or great.
They are no happier than the rest of us, and they struggle just as much
or more than average folks. Even after they surpass their wildest
dreams, they still experience more struggle than glory. This has
certainly been true for me.

While I surpassed my wildest dreams decades ago, I am still struggling
today.In time, I realized that the satisfaction of success doesn’t come
from achieving your goals, but from struggling well.To understand what I
mean, imagine your greatest goal, whatever it is—making a ton of money,
winning an Academy Award, running a great organization, being great at a
sport. Now imagine instantaneously achieving it.

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You’d be happy at first, but not for long. You would soon find yourself
needing something else to struggle for. Just look at people who attain
their dreams early— the child star, the lottery winner, the professional
athlete who peaks early. They typically don’t end up happy unless they
get excited about something else bigger and better to struggle
for. Since life brings both ups and downs, struggling well doesn’t just
make your ups better; it makes your downs less bad.

I’m still strugglingand I will until I die, because even if I try to
avoid the struggles, they will find me.

Thanks to all that struggling and learning, I have done everything I
wanted to do,
gone everywhere I wanted to go, met whomever I wanted to
meet, gotten everything I wanted to own, had a career that has been
enthralling, and, most rewardingly, had many wonderful relationships.I
have experienced the full range, from having nothing to having an
enormous amount, and from being a nobody to being a somebody, so I know
the differences.
While I experienced them going from the bottom up
rather than from the top down (which was preferable and probably
influenced my perspective), my assessment is that the incremental
benefits of having a lot and being on top are not nearly as great as
most people think.

Having the basics—a good bed to sleep in, good relationships, good
food, and good sex—is most important, and those things don’t get much
better when you have a lot ofmoney or much worse when you have less.

And the people one meets at the top aren’t necessarily more special
than those one meets at the bottom or in between.

The marginal benefits of having more fall off pretty quickly. In fact,
having a lot more is worse than having a moderate amount more because it
comes with heavy burdens. Being on top gives you a wider range of
options, but it also requires more of you. Being well-known is probably
worse than being anonymous, all things considered. And while the
beneficial impact one can have on others is great, when you put it in
perspective, it is still infinitesimally small. For all those reasons, I
cannot say that having an intense life filled with accomplishments is
better than having a relaxed life filled with savoring, though I can say
that being strong is better than being weak, and that struggling gives
one strength.

My nature being what it is, I would not have changed my life, but I
can’t tell you what is best for you. That is for you to choose. What I
have seen is that the happiest people discover their own nature and
match their life to it.

Now that my desire to succeed has given way to a desire to help others
succeed, that’s become my current struggle. It’s now clear to me that my
purpose, your purpose, and the purpose of everything else is to evolve
and to contribute to evolution in some small way.I didn’t think about
that at the start; I just went after the things I wanted. But along the
way I evolved, and now I am sharing these principles with you to help
you evolve too.I realized that passing on knowledge is like passing on
DNA—it is more important than the individual, because it lives way
beyond the individual’s life. This is my attempt to help you succeed by
passing along to you what I learned about how to struggle well—or, at
the very least, to help you get the most out of each unit of effort you
put in.

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